If there are still any of you out there!
I know it’s been a long long time since I last blogged…and it’s not like I had a huge track record to begin with!
Free time has been…limited…or, rather, prioritized differently? over the past couple of months. Actually, the time I’m using right now is stolen. I should definitely be cleaning the house at the moment. But I figured I’d let Cadence be sure she was sound asleep before I started clanking dishes around or folding laundry…you know how loud folding laundry can be! ;)
It’s funny the way things change in a short time frame. Back in March I thought, wow, I’ve been really bad about blogging lately, my bed has just seemed like a better plan at the end of a long day, I think in April I’m going to set a goal to blog daily. Every day might not be awe-inspiring but I can throw in personal things and random pictures and it’s about the challenge of blogging daily and following through on the commitment. As April approached I thought, hmm, maybe I should change that to 3 times a week, that seems more reasonable. As April faded in the distance I thought, hmm, maybe I should plan to blog once/week starting in May…I’m sure I can set aside one evening each week to engage in a creative outlet, that would fit my life without being overwhelming. Now here we are more than half way through May and I’m writing my first post since February I believe. A lot has changed since I launched this blog! Namely, the inspiration behind it.
A few months ago, I still had aspirations to be an event planner. This blog was not just a creative outlet but a means of expressing myself to connect with potential clients and inspire brides. And it was working. Then I got caught up in my “real life” and let it slip. And it didn’t bother me. Because blogging seemed like a burden, more of a requirement than an outlet. Maybe it’s because I hadn’t formed as large of a reader base as I wanted to yet – I’ve always been bad with patience and gotten frustrated when things didn’t happen overnight (like learning to play the guitar! These things take time??!). But maybe it’s because God was already softening my heart toward the reality He was facing me with.
Event Planning does not fit my family right now.
Friday and Saturday are our 2 days a week together, and one weekend a month we don’t even get both of those days because Nathan has drill. So to give up even one of those family weekends each month is not something I want to do. Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday I work during the day and Nathan works at night, so we barely see each other those days, save for climbing in and out of the bed (he actually works Monday-Thursday, 10 hour shifts 1 1/2 hours away, but I’m off on Wednesdays with CadieBug :). Our Sundays are filled with our Lifepoint Family, from me arriving early at the school to help set-up our portable church, to tearing it down that afternoon, we have a few hours in the late afternoon to nap or speed clean or grocery shop before our Lifegroup comes over at 6. And we wouldn’t have it any other way. We LOVE our full Sundays, even Cadence loves spending the morning at Lifepoint and having a house full of her friends in the evening. That’s the most important day of our week. But these are the priorities we’ve set. Our family. Our passion.
As much as I love the idea of event planning, it’s not a good fit for us right now. Maybe in a few years our lives will be aligned differently and that will change, but for now, I’ve decided to put it down. And – let’s be honest – it was a dumb idea anyway –> I hate making phone calls. I don’t know why I didn’t think of that before. I guess because I always step up to the occasion – if I need to make a call, I do it. Particularly in the professional world. And I do it well. The person on the other end has no idea the level of anxiety I’ve got built up or the five minutes I spent before dialing their number rationalizing myself into just making the stupid call. It’s ridiculous, I know. And I feel like I’m “growing out of it”. But it still lingers. And it makes event planning stressful.
Now, the other side of that world, the design side – that never gets old, or stressful. Okay, maybe when I watch shows with budgets in the triple digits knowing I will never deal with that kind of disposable income though I may very well have a bride who wants that kind of wedding, that’s a stressful thought. But stylizing an event is a blast for me – and it’s something I can think about anytime and draw inspiration for anywhere – it’s not something that I can only do between the hours of 9-5, when I’m working at the church office and therefore obviously not making vendor phone calls. I can dream things up when I’m driving, or shopping, or waiting at the dr’s office or playing games with Cadence or…literally…dreaming. It’s wonderful. It’s a part of my brain that never turns off anyway. That is something I’ll never stop doing, even though I’m not employed for it. And that is what this blog is going to morph into. Just my inspirations and the various ways those play out. And maybe a little bit of photography dabbling :) I really need to learn how to use the camera that my amazing husband got me! And I want to SO BAD. It’s just another one of those things that takes a little bit of time and is thus frustrating for me. I can shoot in manual about half the time but there is so much left to learn! We’ll see how that goes ;)
So, maybe one day I’ll live in a city where people will pay me to dream up a design for their event or bring all of their ideas together for them but as Fredericksburg is likely not that city, for now I’m going to focus on enjoying my family and the amazing job I’ve been given at Lifepoint and just blogging my random thoughts and dreams and not caring whether I have 20 comments or a side business. I think this sounds like a lovely idea <3